The Daily Truths of a Girl

wow, I have not used Tumblr in a while. Might start using it for my random nonsense that comes to my mind…with pictures!

I dont have that many followers…no ones going to care right ;)

Ah,

Sorry I have been away for so long. Been busy. 

I am moving back to Perth which going to be awesome, I am going to miss Heaven though she’s just so warm and cuddly and I love playing with her ears. I have been spending alot of time with my brother its good to close the gap that happens when you live so far apart. 

I cant wait to catch up to my friends and finally get my diploma sorted. Hopefully the TAFE gets back to me before I fly over and my friends still remember me. haha. Although I do have to admit that I have fallen out of touch with one particular friend but I am sure that I can get back to being friends. 

so yeah…

Mums really angry and sad. I feel for her; shes only trying to do the right thing by fixing As books (mums boyfriend Adrian) and shes getting shit from his family for not doing it fast enough. Plus, shes also coping shit from his ex wife for just being with him because shes psycho, they all know it but noone says anything. 

My mum makes the boys lunches yet the step mum tells them to leave it in the car and hands them money instead. Thats not teaching kids good values at all, shes only doing that because the boys said my mum makes better lunches, because she cares. 

I dont blame my mum for having enough, its ridiculous and no one should go through it. I am gonna help her though, make dinner and do the washing up and other chores because if she doesnt do it and I dont do it noone will :/

Its the truth but ignorance is bliss. 

Waking Up

As of recently; I have tried my best to go to bed earlier and get away from the computer and do proactive things like go out running and shopping with my Mum. I feel like I have had a little flashchat (unknowingly) addict me and control my life, like I have been in a coma for 2 months doing nothing but sit on my bed and eat oreos and my mums food. 

I dont know how to explain it; I guess I was lonely. If I had not have created that flashchat my life may have been vastly different, its strange how small things can vastly change your outlook on life in the long run. But, I am not the only one affected by this; there are others that I have unknowingly prevented having “a life” 

I want to shake myself out of this rut or niche I have gotten myself into. I need to be my own person again without wanting to get back home so I can talk with others all the time. I guess I missed the craze of “Myspace” that all those kids were experiencing a few years back and got my own version.

My mum, she is doing alot to help me get out of it too; not letting me sleep in all day and waking me up at reasonable times with coffee. She is also getting me out of the house, shopping and watching movies with me. 

I also want other people to do it too; not to rely on a stupid flashchat and the warm fuzzy text of others to occupy their time. I guess I am just ranting a bit here; I dont want to be responsible for ruining someone body clock, its not worth it to me. 

I see now that staying up until 6-7am is NOT good for my body or anyone elses; you dont see the problem until you break away and experience it and see it on other people. I am not ignoring anyone or avoiding them, I am just trying to curb what I do. 

To me, it like being addicted to something like, cheese. For example; you eat it everyday thinking that you are just getting your daily cheese fix until you start relying on it and eventually you see your body is changing so you stop for a while. Then you see how vast the problem is…so you stop; and only eat cheese every once in a while trying not to get addicted again. 

But, its hard. You may lapse in and out of the addiction, its normal for smokers to re-lapse 8 or 9 times. But, thats a different reason. 

I guess, upon reflection of my massive wall of tl;dr. I want my friends to be happy and healthy and to not stay up and say “but, for her its worth it” its not worth it at all to me. In fact, its a stupid reason to have a ruined body clock, I dont want to be the reason someone does that to themselves. 

fuck I love bean bags

As I sit on one; completely relaxed, in the dark with the only light coming from the glow ball I made an hour ago out of glowsticks as I listen to Four Year Strong I wonder…what will the future hold for me?

Kids? a definite possibility. Study? That comes after I get a job. Job? indeterminate at this point. 

I have got an appointment with Centerlink on Monday. Hopefully they dont scold me too hard, I need that constant inflow of money otherwise I cant get to Perth and if I cant get to Perth I cant study…and if I cant study I can finish off my Diploma which means I cant move in with the future husband and go to Uni. 

*sighs* I am going for my RSA and RGS on Monday. If Centrelink cut me off atleast I can still get a job with the aid of those guys. I mean, i’d love to work in a bar because at the end of the day; you get free drinks and a fun group of friends. And you meet the locals. 

I mean, its not like it was ALL my fault. I wasnt sure until a few days ago how many jobs I need to apply for which is currently 10 per fortnight..in a small town like Bundaberg? I guess its not much to ask for 245.10 per fortnight. But still; thats 1 per day not including weekends, breaking things down helps with the reality but still; 10 jobs? Gez…

Anyways, I am completely in love with the anime Psychic Detective Yakumo :> and I leave you with the good news…for today, glow balls are awesome and cheap and people are suckers for bright glowing things *kaching*

blog…?

Just updating, talked to my dad and my bro on skype for aaaagggeeess a few minutes ago; I am going over to Perth when my bro does (hopefully on the same plane) so I can finish off my diploma…which I should have done when I got fired but; it wasnt on my mind at the time. 

Psychic Detective Yakumo is one of the best mystery’s ive watched in a while. Go watch it :>

Thanks for reading and I love you long time; peace out!